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Daily Prompt: Commit 

I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder (and paranoia + off features) nine years ago. I’m lucky I’ve responded pretty well to meds -even if I have to take a lot of them. I forget how sick I really am and tend to attribute episodes with run of the mill shit in life. 

While it was a very healthy decision, “normal” people don’t check themselves into their hospitals behavioral health center (aka psych ward). In 2012, after the loss of my Papaw, I spiralled into a terrible mixed episode were making cereal was very complex, my paranoia lead to flee a grocery store because I thought all the customers were following me, and I felt like my obsessive mind was going to force me to hurt myself. 

So I committed myself, under my psychiatrist’s care, to a 72 hr observation + medication stabilization period. Aside from desperately missing my husband (who I was free to call any time 9am-9pm and came by nightly during visiting hours 6-8 pm) and my phone, I felt safe. It was a time out. Someone else set the schedule and I knew my brain couldn’t back me into a self harm corner. 

They upped my lithium and when my blood level was at a therapeutic level, I felt so much better and confident in going home. 

Today when I am having bad episodes, I have to ask myself if I should go to the hospital again. I have to be the one to stand in between my mental illness and my own safety. 

Besides, we got to color for occupational therapy! 


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My First Post! 

Hi! My name is Carolyn and I live in Alabama with my husband Chris and our two cats and two dogs. I’m a chronic back pain and Trigeminal Neuralgia warrior who also is passionate about living cruelty free, makeup, beagles, punk rock, Bob’s Burgers, and creative writing! My goal is to participate in WordPress’s daily Prompts and I’m sure other ideas will come from there. Why not click follow and see what does on?